Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I swear to Bob!

I'd swear to God but ehh...I have my doubts.

I need to stop getting online first thing when I wake up in the morning/afternoon. I'm not a morning person to begin with and things easily irritate me. So things that I already find irritating REALY irritate me and/or get me riled up. This is not the way I want to start my day.

It seems that every time I get online to do my usual online routine, which is check my 2 e-mail accounts (personal and work), check up on the myspace scene, check my flickr activity, and look for new job postings on craigslist, I am bombarded by more stupidity than my half-awake brain can stand.

There's always another stupid-ass survey bulletin (or in today's case, four in a row from the same person) or someone telling me everything they plan on doing today (I hope putting on your helmet is one of those things.) Then there's usually some spam from craigslist trolls who get my info and send me bullshit, or another scam artist trying to scam me. Or another not-so-bright craigslist user trying to find out info about my photography/tutoring, etc, and can't form a single, intelligent sentence. On flickr, there's another "favorite" (which is basically a person book-marking a photo so he/she can find it later) on one of my photos from some creepo collecting photos for their spank collection. And on craigslist, there's a never-ending parade of stupidity in the form of poorly-worded, never-seen-a-spell-check posts from the general public of New Orleans. These posts are a depressing reminder that once I leave my house, these are the geniuses I will have to interact with. I'm not saying I'm the smartest kid in the world, but you should read some of these things!

Every now and then I get lucky and wake up to something in my inbox that makes me smile, a nice e-mail or a funny video. Or maybe a sweet job offer via craigslist. But, alas, I typically find nothing but reminders of how mindless the general internet user is.

Now, I understand that many people think at their jobs all day and just get online to unwind and have a little fun. That's cool. I'm more specifically talking about people who put their words out for everyone (or just one person) to see without really thinking about what they are saying first.

Here's a great e-mail I got in response to a craigslist post I recently made offering photography:

I need a wedding photographer for November 29, 2008
Are you free? can you reply with an answer
Thank you ("Photography!!!")

(The name hasn't been omitted. The person did not think to include it…or punctuation. That in parenthesis after the "Thank You" is what is commonly known as an "in-text citation".)

Aside from the fact that there is no information on where the wedding is located, which if it is outside of New Orleans may be pertinent information and might change my availability, look at the second line of the message.
"can you reply with an answer"

Umm....WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I REPLY WITH OTHER THAN AN ANSWER? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of "reply" is: "to respond in words or writing" ("Reply"). And, to further clarify, the definition of "respond" is: "to say something in return: make an answer" ("Respond").
More appropriate questions would be "Can you please reply?" "Could you please write with an answer?" or simply leave it at "Are you available?".
I just don't understand some people's thought processes...or lack thereof.

Now I may not ever win a spelling bee and if you ask me to quickly tell you the answer to some math equation, I'd probably be stumped. But I would like to think I apply a certain level of cognition to the things I say, and in this case, type. Spending time thinking about what one is typing is even easier than thinking about what one is saying because one has time to re-read and edit one's typed words.

I understand that the typical person, particularly the typical New Orleanian, will not have perfect grammar, spell well, know correct comma usage or even have the ability to turn their thoughts into text in the best way. It just seems that no one thinks before they hit send or post. These are things you are putting out there because you think everyone needs to read make it worth reading, silly monkeys! Hell, I've seen Monkeys that write better than some of the craigslist posters.

So I'll leave you, dear readers, with this brilliant work of literary art in the form of a Craigslist posting titled "Body Paint Shoot". In writing this, somebody expected to entice a girl to get naked and allow her body to be painted on and photographed. It has not been edited by me in any way:

looking for a model that into art i am planning a traffic sign (yield sign) life size. Then put model up to sign then paint her to blind into sign.

i also plan on some higher end artict shoots that would also like to shoot this summer.

Works Cited

"Body Paint Shoot." Online Posting. 11 June 2008. New Orleans Craigslist Creative Gigs. 17 July 2008.

"Photography!!!." E-mail to Robin Walker Photography. 15 July 2008.

"Reply." Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2008.Merriam-Webster Online. 17 July 2008.

"Respond." Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2008.Merriam-WebsterOnline. 17 July 2008.

Originally Posted to Myspace July 17th, 2008.

No comments: